Schools dealing with gay bullying

SOUTH BEND - It started small. A sneering comment in the cafeteria. Knocking books out of his hands in the hall. Muttering “faggot” whenever he spoke in class. But once the verbal attacks escalated into more physical altercations, Ryan Coleman was fed up.

He reported the incidents to his high school principal but received little in the way of assistance, he said.

“He told me I needed to toughen up and to stop trying to get other people in trouble,” Coleman, now 19, said. “I reported run-ins many, many times. Nothing ever happened.”

Coleman, now an openly gay sophomore at Holy Cross College, attended high school in both Connecticut and Georgia, where he encountered discrimination that many other gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender (GLBT) students say they faced in South Bend-area high schools.

Trey Holt, 19, a 2009 graduate of Mishawaka High School, remained closeted until the end of his junior year.

“When students come out, people are going to want to beat them down and tear them apart just because they’re gay,” Holt said.

According to a 2009 national survey conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, nearly two-thirds of the GLBT high school students surveyed reported they felt unsafe in school because of their sexual orientation. An even higher number (63.7 percent) reported being verbally harassed by classmates.

“The local culture is not supportive so it should come as no surprise that the kids aren’t either,” said Catherine Pittman, an associate professor of psychology at Saint Mary’s College. “The victim is always the one who gets blamed. People say, ‘Oh, if he doesn’t want to be teased he shouldn’t have told everyone that he’s gay.’ “

Pittman, a clinical psychologist who works in support groups with homosexual and transgendered individuals, said local high schools tend to approach homophobia differently than they do other forms of discrimination.

“Whereas a teacher would never tolerate the use of the N-word in class, students can use the word ‘faggot’ without expecting to face any challenge,” she said.

Alex Giorgio, 23, a youth group facilitator for the gay youth support group queerOut at the GLBT Resource Center of Michiana, said he believes a lot of the discriminatory practices are tied to the attitudes of local schools.

“There is a sense of homophobia in the administrations of certain area high schools,” Giorgio said. “It’s absolutely crushing when these kids report incidents and are told not to tell people they’re gay.”

Giorgio remained closeted throughout his time as a student at Penn High School.

“The school was not an environment that I would have wanted to be out in,” he said.

After spending two years working with queerOut, Giorgio said he doesn’t think there have been many improvements since he was a student.

“Most of the kids at queerOut don’t talk about the bullying because the wounds are still too fresh,” he said. “The discrimination has been allowed to continue because it’s easier for the schools to ignore it.”

Teresa Carroll the director of communications for Penn-Harris-Madison School Corp., said they have a strict policy on bullying.

“We do not tolerate any type of bullying,” she said. “It’s unacceptable in any case.”

According to the P-H-M administrative guidelines found on the website, the district’s bullying policy states “every student is encouraged, and every staff member is required, to report any situation that they believe to be bullying behavior directed toward a student.”

Holt said he knew of instances when members of the Mishawaka administration wanted to help GLBT students but they faced too much outside pressure.

“They know they are going to get attacked by parents and other officials if they reach out to us,” he said. “It creates this situation where you really have no one to turn to. It makes you feel different - like you’re a minority group.”

Gregg Hixenbaugh, the director of human resources for School City of Mishawaka, said while the school has not “carved specific language” in regards to bullying based on sexual orientation, the school’s “broad” bullying policy should apply to all forms of discrimination.

“We take a very aggressive stance with regards to following up on reports of bullying,” Hixenbaugh said. “Violations can result in suspension or expulsion.”

Holt said he “turned inward” as a result of feeling like he couldn’t be open about his sexuality with his parents or at Mishawaka High School. He felt relief after he came out, but said he knows the risks GLBT youth take when deciding to come out to their peers.

“Being out is not a solution to anything. You get it off your chest and that’s about it,” he said. “It’s a huge risk to come out because a lot of people are going to attack you.”

Coleman said bullies now have more methods of torment with the presence of cell phones and the social media among teenagers.

“The biggest thing that makes bullying worse is technology like Facebook and text messaging,” he said.

When Coleman was in high school, a group of his classmates made a group on Facebook titled “Ryan Coleman is Such a Faggot,” which Coleman eventually viewed.

“I sat there and looked at the message board and cried,” he said. “Those people thought I was an awful person just because I’m gay.”

Pittman said the Internet added a whole new dimension of harm to bullying.

“Social networks and Twitter extend the bullying period because the kids now don’t have a safe place,” she said. “They get it from all angles even when at home.”

Pittman said the “bullying period” can even extend to nonhomosexual students who wind up on the receiving end of homophobic slurs because of their personal interests.

“If you’re picked on for certain behaviors, like a young man who likes to dance but gets called ‘fag’ as a result, he’s going to be instilled with a sense of homophobia,” she said. “Now you’ve created a person who may join his former tormentors in putting gay kids down.”

Holt said homophobia is a difficult enemy to fight.

“‘Gay’ isn’t something that you can just see on the outside, “ he said. “Most people don’t think they know anyone who’s gay, so they have these preconceived notions about who we are.”

Pittman said changes in the community in recent years improved situations for GLBT youth.

“I wouldn’t say that the majority is homophobic - there’s more acceptance these days,” she said. “The problem is that we have a very vocal minority.”

Giorgio said schools should review their policy and ensure harassment is eliminated for all students.

“The schools need to have a zero-tolerance policy for all forms of discrimination, whether you’re gay, straight, black or white,” Giorgio said. “School should never be a place where kids are afraid to go.”